Random Ramblings

When the big hand is pointing towards the...

There's no two ways about it - I'm a complete numb nuts.

This morning, after getting in late and being out all day and night yesterday, I wasn't expecting to wake at my usual time so thought I'd be getting up a bit later than normal. Not much, just fifteen minutes or so and getting a slightly later bus.

But, there I was, sun blazing through the window, nice and fresh but warm, waking up and taking a quick cursory glance at my phone, thinking:
"Ooh, its a bit earlier than my alarm, that means I can get the seven am bus still instead of quarter past"

So up I get, still tired, but a quick blast in the shower, clothes on, out the door and strolling to the bus stop.

Except when I get there, the board says the next bus is at 6:32.

A look up towards the time display then makes me realise its actually only 5:50am and not nearly seven....

D'Oh.

There's nothing fishy about these facts....

As with 'The Inconvenient Truth', I think everyone should see this film, which is released next week:

http://endoftheline.com/

Papas got a brand new hat....

I like hats. I'm sure anyone who even remotely knows me has guessed this by now.

After having my blue cord trilby lost by someone at New Years, theres been a void. It still hurts to talk about.

But I've got a new one, and I think its awesome....

Yes, I know it is a slightly dodgy picture - okay, very trailer park with the vest. But it was a hot day.
Yes, and it could potentially be construed as a bit poncey / narcissistic (oh sod it, I cant be arsed with spell check, I think that was right though) to post one.

But I like the hat. So there.

I haven't named him yet, but he will be a constant companion during the season.

Do you love good music? yeah, yeah

Ah, summertime and the living is easy....and festival time is nearly upon us. Yippee.
I'm very, very fortunate this year to be able to attend Camp Bestival in Dorset for free - woohoo - and possibly wrongly over-excited at the prospect of Will Young being there; more so than it being PJ Harveys only festival appearance I know, and Hugh Furry-Wantstoeatitall getting all excitable with his foodstand.

Sadly I cant make BeachBreak to cover that, and Secret Garden Party clashes with everything else. It's fab to have the opportunity to cover loads of festivals, but oh, the drama, too many clashes to milk it all the way one should. But theres also a lovely little local festival called Blissfields to do, which is ace. And they do free tractor rides. Brilliant.

Speaking of local, its very pleasing when you see up-coming local bands start to makes waves, especially when you think they are well-deserving of it, and equally worthwhile on the national stage as their peers. I like these guys, and they've had an endorsement from Rob de Bank at lasts years Bestival, and Huw Stevens.

Their new single is fab (in my opinion anyway) and cracking for summer, and they're great live. You can even read about it here, if you like:

http://www.mintsouth.com/2009/05/review-fresh-legs-chess/

Well worth a quid or two of anyones money, I think.

After the disappointment of missing Morrissey last week, the intense sunshine has got me dripping a bit of sex wee in anticipation of festivals, camping, sunburn, sitting in the middle of the campsite in my Anchorman style pants and trailer trash vest (long story from last years Truck festival, which also involved the sporting of a Mexican paedo 'tache. Dont ask) and scabby toilets.

Oh, and I also got an awesome new hat, which makes hatman here very happy.

There are many, many newsworthy events around, and hundreds of bits of information that the public should be made aware of. Important things that should make the reader that little bit more wised up to how the world works, and even trigger some kind of action from them.

So it really, really, fucks me off to see pretty much every single newspaper today carrying pictures and copy of the 'trauma' from the Champions League defeat last night.

It's not as if its 'news' anyway that would have escaped anyones attention who has caught the tv, radio or internet in the intervening twelve hours. Not to mention the fact that don't they have back pages for those kind of headlines.

Yes, we all know that (most - not all) newspapers are concerned with sensationalism over fact anyway, and come to expect that every single day from the red tops and tabloids. But usually the broadsheets and more forward thinking liberal papers arent as bad.

The Champions League wankfest leaves a bad taste in my mouth anyway, as its just a groomed exercise in corporatism and commerciality, believing that the more money and flash that is on display, equates to bigger and better. (And Im no football basher, I love my Hammers.)

Its just so bloody infuriating to gaze across all of the front pages and see them all treating this football match as headline worthy news, giving it the same level of gravitas and 'pain' against a backdrop of a 'head in hands' Rooney, as they would a picture of a dazed troop in the aftermath of a conflict zone.

Oh, calamity.

I've incurred the wrath of my colleagues, I'm sure, as I failed to deliver birthday donuts this morning. Admittedly, they would have been a day late anyway. And I still don't quite understand the logic in the tradition of buying everyone else cakes and goodies on your birthday...surely it's the other way round!

But I was unable to find one single donut in any of the bakeries or supermarkets this morning - is there some kind of county wide dough shortage? Is it a national holiday for bakers? a strike? Bizarre...

But on the plus side, Morrissey also failed to deliver this week, and very graciously cancelled Monday nights gig. The official line is due to illness, but I'm sure it was a sympathetic action after hearing that I had to give up my review and interview slot due to work committments. God bless ya, Moz.

Poo and double poo. Oh what the hell, triple poo.

This week has been immensely tiring, trying and stressful, putting in about eight million hours into a project ready for go live. And thats not yet counting the working over the weekend, including Monday. Yes, not just any weekend but a bank holiday weekend. And technically my birthday weekend - which I dont normally pay much attention too, except that for once in living memory it might have been quite good. Not least because theres someone around making me smile at the moment, but because Monday was meant to see me with a press guestlist to review Morrissey, and interview the support band.

But my dilemma has meant I have to give it up because I cant guarantee the system things (cant be arsed to get all technical) will be ready for me to test and release early enough before im due to leave.....and we all know the law of the sod, that if i assume they will be, they wont and it will be too late to find someone else. And if I cancel (like I am) then its all bound to go off without a hitch the night before.

I was happy in the haze of an impending Morrissey gig....but heaven knows Im miserable now...

Recently I was rediscovering Rage Against the Machines seminal debut and thought, fuck - this is seventeen years old now. Then I thought fuck - I forgot how good this is. After that came a third thought - yes, three in a row - and guess how it started? Yep - fuck.

Surely everybody enjoys a good fuck or motherfucker when used effectively in a song? And by that, I mean not including general rap songs, comedy or crap metal or overly obvious ones...

I think Killing in the Name of still comes out on top, not least because of the sheer number of them. Surely the best use of the word in a song ever. Or is it?
So for artistic research I got to wondering what my favourite uses of it were in other songs that are great in their own right, but somehow enhanced just by virtue of an additional fuck.....

.....heres a few to start things off, in no particular order:

Neil Young - Fucking Up
Legend.

Prince - Pussy Control
(..."good morning ladies and gentlemen, boys and motherfucking girls..." which of course, whilst on the subject of Prince leads to...)

Prince - Sexy Motherfucker
(Top marks just for the sheer jaw-dropping cheek when it came out for a mainstream(ish) artist to stick it to 'the man' and call a song this, and have it be a top three hit no less. "In a word or two, its you I wanna do, no not your body, your mind, you fool....you sexy motherfucker")

Dinosaur Jnr - Freak Scene
(Its use in this song is subtle, which makes it even more enjoyable to let loose when it comes in.."so just dont let me fuck up will you, cos when I need a friend its still you...")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m6DgqzDMhw

Zodiac Mindwarp - Fucked By Rock
(Who hasnt been? "Fucked by Rock...I like it" and the additional, "I gonna take all my money, and piss it up the wall....and stick it up my nose, stick it up my fucking nose")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPII43fAssg

Datsuns - MF from Hell
(she made me feel, like a motherfucker from hell, yeah)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWVxGFIpPB8

Fight Like Apes - Jake Summers
(That scream, basically. Especially live)(special soft spot also for 'Digifucker')
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OnJDoNyTZY

Nine Inch Nails - Closer
(Something about the NIN that just feels so right with a good use of it in the middle. sadly blanked out on here though)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4VAv8y2hHM

-------
thats a few for now.

So..............whats your favourite fuck then?

I think the last week of intense work, planning and creating is beginning to take its toll - way before any houmous inflation might have the chance.

For reasons known only to the inner workings of my frazzled brain, I have taken to answering the phone with 'hello. I'm Johnny Cash'. (taken from his intro to 'Folsom Prison' for the non Middle-Aged Mojo nerds out there).

There is no reason for it other than the clear onset of a mini nervous breakdown. Hopefully this can be averted by a little break this evening, and the chance of a cheeky bordeaux as I've got a gig to review.

I'm hoping it is equally as awesome as the bands inspired name: "Tim and Sams Tim and The Sam Band with Tim and Sam".

And needless to say, none of them are called Tim and Sam.

...or should that be 'stop houmous time!'

Is it possible to overdose on houmous?
Will I end up with a kind of houmous themed 'willy wonka' fate, a la Augustus Gloop or Violet Beauregarde?
Bloated to supreme proportions into a mousse-like blob with eyes and mouth?

One tub a day, every lunch time, for the last several weeks - morroccan spiced, olive and tomato, good ol' normal, you name it.

Im beginning to feel like a crack addict...