I remember the day it happened all too clearly. The feelings of shock, numbness and incredulity it brought on. I still find it hard to talk about. I still often wake up sweating and writhing in the middle of the night – “Oh my god…the flashes…the lights...the incessant chiming and ringing noises. It’s back…It’s back…IT’S BACK!!!! Noooo…”. But alas, the nightmares don’t stop there. It’s all too real. The “12 days of Christmas” have long since mutated into the 12 weeks. Replicating, reproducing and expanding like some nightmarish alien parasite. Its “invasion of the bodysnatchers” come to life.

The day in question? It was mid September. A balmy, warm and humid day, as is the norm now for this previously autumnal time of year. I even had short sleeves and sunglasses on. Perhaps it was this anomaly in the weather that heightened the shocking scenes laid out before my disbelieving eyes. Perhaps, but most likely not. It was the sheer unexpectedness of the assault on my senses – the spawn of novelty Christmas gifts and all their bastard offspring suddenly invading in one mass orchestrated attack. As I try to lock this fearsome invasion in the depths of my mind, a remembrance escapes. Regressed emotions teased forth to the surface like a charmed snake rising from its basket; they come hissing back to life. I remember that I’ve been through this hell on earth before. And undoubtedly will again. One moment minding my own business, and the next taken hostage. That is, unless I can gather enough other scarred souls to join me. To escape this disease, this evil black scourge that invades us, covered in its disguise of twinkling lights and shiny, inviting promises. Start afresh. I don’t yet know how, or where.

We could find ourselves a safe haven – an island to restart and raise our offspring in a better place, having never known the horrors that we did. I know there are others out there…I can see the signs, hear the screams, feel the chill in their bones and see their shaking, tortured faces – all of it evidence that they have witnessed and been tormented by the same frightful sights as I have.

But the window of opportunity seems to be shrinking. These visitations of evil are appearing earlier each time. The gap is narrowing. Before long we will have no time to escape, no time to avoid the brainwashing before we are enslaved in some zombified state.
So please people, hear my pleas…let’s band together and fight back where once there was just acceptance of our doomed fate. Be prepared, be alert, and be strong. For its coming sooner than ever. Where I hesitantly relive that fateful September day, be warned that it could be sooner than that next time. The forces of evil are gathering strongly, and their patience diminishes with each passing year. You may well find yourself still sitting on a beach applying your Factor 20. But don’t be a fool. That may be strong enough to protect you from the burning rays of the sun on a hot August day. But when the clouds gather on the horizon, and you begin to hear the chiming jingly noises in your ears, and see the glinting, shiny, inviting sights massing, hiding this cloak of darkness and evil waiting to consume you…it wont be enough. For the parasite that is the marketing of Christmas will have struck you down and there will be no escape…