insecurity tumbles in,
and kidnaps all other feelings
like a blanket has been pulled from beneath
leaving mind and thoughts reeling

what do you do if you feel like that
its hard to stop yourself sinking
every turn you try to take
it pounces and gets you thinking

what if im no dancer,
extrovert, or cant go singing
get scared i wont be as much fun
as others, and feel un-interesting

what if you worry because of that
and get shy and anxious and frightened
self esteem drops so low
through fear of being abandoned

its a horrible place to be, i know
overwhelmed by such insecurity
wanting so much to see it go
let it loose, and once more be me

caught up in a vicious cycle
wanting to make another happy
but the paranoia has me worrying
smiles and happiness are not because of me

it circles back to the initial fears
of not being able to 'let go'
as others seem so much more appealing
how can i compete, i fear its no

like climbing the highest diving board
full of courage and will and intention
you get so far, really want to try
but fearing the drop, halts you with tension

it gets even worse, when another steps up
performing with ease, to smiles and cheers
and really drives home and clatters you
reinforcing your worries and fears

self confidence lacking, is a nightmare state
one which elicits such paranoid thoughts
but underneath the fragile exterior
is the desperation to escape the mental taunts

you truly want to banish it
overcome the irrational actions
especially for the sake of others
from whom you so much want affection

because not only does it affect you
make you feel so impotent
but although its not intentional
can make loved ones feel less important

whats even worse, is its all in your mind
but gets projected onto others
when they have been nothing but supportive
yet your brain, the reassurance just smothers

its ironic, i guess, when you think of it
the fears of insecurity that keep you at bay
ultimately rebound off you
and can actually make it that way