A poem

Sometimes in life you can try too hard
Always full of good intentions
But the irony is that sometimes
It can cause negative implications

You only want to do your best
Give everything you can
Spill your heart, and give your soul
To be a better man

Im sad today, with many things
Thoughts I cant contain
Of how I let myself get here
I should have made myself refrain

Its clear to me, at times like this
That sometimes I need to step back
Understand I can push too much
Which shunts things off the track

Its not with malice, nor anything bad
Just my attempts get over demonstrated
Perhaps a bit of thoughtlessness
Wanting my ego placated

You see, Im a gentle soul at times
And like others can be fragile
And when you have something you want so much
Can forget to be too tactile

My frailty is I push too hard
To stress and show my care
Whilst I want to hear things back
I dont see when its really there

My mind can play bad tricks on me
It looks out for certain words
And that is where I really fall down
And whats really said is not heard

The over desire to see things right
Filters out rational actions
When what I really need to do
Is see the real reactions

Instead of looking for certain words
I know I need to feel at ease
And understand that less is more
Thats how loved ones I will please

I see too much as potential loss
And fail to appreciate whats said
Its just the need for variety
Not a reflection that Im not wanted

Ive learnt I need to accept the balance
And understand the perspectives
I only wish for understanding
I dont mean to seem possessive

My need for acceptance has gone too far
Eaten too much into my confidence
Ive let myself ruin the good things Ive got
By not letting it off my conscience

The real me is so much more caring
Relaxed, giving and happy
I want the chance to return to that
And show Ive still got it all inside me

I know its still there, its fighting back
And breaking through the barriers
Too many near fatal conflicts have
Spurred me on to be its conqueror

I dont want to lose this chance to shine
And keep for me whats special
Make them proud that Ill be the best
And make them happy with it all

When good things come to you in life
Theres nothing you wouldnt do
To keep them there and do whats best
And not always think about you

My crimes are small, yet so severe
Thats why I am appealing
My defence is just that I only mean good
Sorry for over reaching

Ive not meant to hamper the feelings of others
Be smothering or blind to the needs
I want to show Im sorry
For ever planting those seeds

I realise Ive unwittingly
Gone about things the wrong way
I cant stress enough I meant no bad
I guess I chose the wrong things to say

If theres one thing I want more than others
Its to get back the balance
Show my pride, and not my weakness
Be caring, my support ill enhance

For by showing the pleasure I truly have
Not expressing the stupid thoughts
Ill allow the butterfly room to soar
And be welcomed for my demons ive fought

I hope I will, because thats my true feelings
My real desire I swear
To show I really want others happy
Because I really care

If I can do that, be true to my word
Be more considerate for a start,
Thats all I want, their happiness,
I have to keep their heart

My support is there, it always has been
But now its time to say no more
Be the proper man I should
And on those stupid thoughts slam the door

I hope thats going to be good enough
My remorse is so sincere
Im going to do everything in my power
To make things right from here

These arent empty words, theyre from deep in my heart
My failures to acknowledge, I have hated
From hereon in, my joy will shine
And my love, i hope still reciprocated

No taking for granted, or missing the point
Banishing my insecure questions
So long as I know the desire for mes there
Im happy, no complications

Thats all it boils down to, my misfiring
Not hearing that when its said
If I know its there, then no more complaining
Ill give everything wanted instead

My resolve on this is far too strong
My happiness depends on it
From this day on, my old self is back
And I hope someone wants to still share it

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