...Ive just eaten a delicious meal which was very sadly tainted by the torturous vocals of Jade Goody.

Hands up who else would like to skin her and dance around her entrails offering them to Beelezebub?

As if that wasnt bad enough, she was on Davina McCalls 'chat' show.

Hit me whilst Im down and steal my wallet why dont you?!!

Not only does it completely confound me how Jade Gobby is still a celebrity, but also how Davina is getting paid wheelbarrow loads of cash for that pile of tripe.

Why?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????

The world is so unfair.

I could draw a face on my arse and flatulate and still be more articulate and probing than her.

The world is littered with skilled, erudite and eloquent people just waiting for a chance like theirs. (Waves and winks!!!)

Sign up here for the hit squad...

This ones not quite as random as the cheese survey...

Does anyone else read text messages and emails whilst attempting to adopt the voice of the sender?

I do.

This random mental quirk was bought to you today by a very bored me.

Dating back to around October/November 2004 Ive amassed alot of dvds.

Either purchased, obtained free with magazines, 'aquired from dubious sources prior to official release' (ahem), downloaded etc.

Ive just had a quick count, and there are still approximately 80 that I havent watched yet!!! (Some of them Ive seen the film, but not actually watched my copy)

So the question is, what to watch next?

Lets try a telephathic exercise and see who can suggest one to watch - the only sticking point being Im not going to tell you any of the titles!

First person to guess a film Ive acquired but not watched yet wins, and I promise Ill watch it and review it! Sod it, its bank holiday weekend, lets go for a top 5