Due to lack of military funding and supplies, i.e. money, I have had to retreat from the disputed war zone recently. Im still winning the battles when supplies intermittently find their way through to me, but lack of reconnaisance during my absences means I have no way of knowing what despicable dictatorish activities she is performing.

Sporadic reports from the frontline suggest that the attitude and megalomania are still intact, but I feel thats just bravado when she knows her foe is not primed for an attack.

I took immense pleasure last week in pretending to get up from my seat, as I knew she was already practically sitting in it the moment my body moved. If it wasnt for her rudeness, I would gladly let her occupy the seat. But it was fun seeing her trying to back track with as much inconspicuousness as a large aubergine trying to blend in with a gang of sweetcorn. or something.

More reports from the front line to follow..

The Good

Randomness upon randomness appears to be occurring, um, randomly this last week. People, events, opportunities and more. Bizarre, but very welcome.

The Bad

Why is it, that the less you want to see things when you are out and about, the more you do.

The Ugly

I am missing an enormous piece of me, which no matter all the points unfolding in Good (above), will always, always feel like Im missing a limb. I hope it will grow back one day, because Im rather attached to it and cant even comprehend it not being there forever.

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Mr cryptic has arrived on your desktop once again this dull Monday morning.

On the plus side, 10% of the working week has now gone