....grower.

Woo hoo.

My eco-green-sustainable-enviro-annoying harpy-reinvention continues apace.

Pots
Seeds
Compost
Small plants (Okay, so I cheated on some - but only because I think I missed the sowing window so didnt want to take any chances. So there)

Courgettes, Sweet Peppers, tumbling tomatoes (circus bred I believe), watercress, basil.
Still to come - carrots, spinach, onions, garlic, cucumber, lambs lettuce.

Oh, and the small matter of me not actually making them wilt and wither away before theyve supplied my summer harvest.

Huzzah.

Cryptic Monday post...

xxx

Still think it wont make a difference? (Good Deeds Friday part 3)

MPs sign up to the campaign against excess packaging

Pressure from readers and consumers, co-ordinated by The Independent, has resulted in over 100 MP's signing and pushing a Commons motion raised in Parliament - forcing the issue on to the agenda and taking the first steps to it being passed as legislation.
(Read article here)

You can do your bit too, by lobbying your MP

* If you are fed up with receiving so much rubbish with your shopping, lobby your MP to sign Early Day Motion 814.

* You can contact your MP by email, post and phone or in person at the Commons, or in your constituency.

* The email address for MPs follows a formula; surname then initial @ parliament.uk, so Hazel Blears' address is blearsh@ parliament.uk. The postal address is House of Commons, London, SW1A 0AA. The Commons switchboard number is 020-7219 3000.

Ask for your MP and you will be put through to their office.

* You also have a right to lobby your MP in person by turning up at Parliament and asking to see them. Alternatively, make an appointment by checking at your MP's constituency surgery.

As well as being irritating and unnecessary, excess packaging is a waste of resources, increases pollution, contributes to climate change, and squanders precious landfill space.

Introduction of Climate Bill
Last year over 130,000 asked their MP to support calls for a new law to make annual cuts in carbon dioxide.

In response the Government announced last November that it would introduce a Climate Bill. This is a fantastic success for The Big Ask.
The challenge now is to make sure that the Bill is a tough one.
Add your support here

No, this isn't another part of todays Good Deeds trilogy...although I guess it was a good deed in itself.

Giving someone a hand has always been a metaphorical phrase, denoting help.

Until now.

Earlier on I quite literally not only gave someone a hand. Not even two hands. But two arms...

...they were disabled and their prosthetic arms had dropped off whilst trying to battle with a door buzzer.

Unusual

Please please also see part one of Good Deeds Friday below. Please. I'll be your bestest friend.

Part 2...
Also, please take the time to add your weight to these campaigns (click banners for links):

Together we are irresistible - together we count. Taking steps together we can do almost anything we choose.
Just as we have polluted our world to the edge of climate chaos we also have the resources and knowledge to save it. It comes down to what we want, what we dream of. If we choose we can make our politicians take the action needed.

Also please add your name to the following online petition that aims to help to keep freedom of expression:

Each Friday I urge you to click the links below which will help others at NO cost to you. The effect this has can be enormous the more of us do it.

- If just 30 people read my post today and click on the links, then we can provide a huge amount of help.

- If each one of you then passes these details on to 5 others, then think how much more we can do. All for no more effort than a quick email and a quick click.

-------------
"why not take 1 minute to click each of the following links and by clicking on the coloured tab you can ensure that foodstuffs, books, or care is donated to each of the groups. The sponsors redirect their advertising costs to pay for the donations instead….And it costs nothing to you":

The Hunger Site
For each person who clicks the hunger site, 1.1 cups of staple food stuffs will be donated. So far today, 144,616 have already been generated.

The Breast Cancer Site
For each person who clicks, funding will be given for free mammograms. So far today, 7 women have benefited where they would not otherwise have done.

The Child Health Site
For each person who clicks, vital health supplies and services will be provided for children in need. So far today, 1,483 kids will benefit from this.

The Literacy Site
For each person who clicks, underpriviledged children in developing countries will benefit from the chance to improve their literacy. So far today, 810 books will be provided.

The Rainforest Site
For each person who clicks, 11.4 square feet of Rain Forest can be preserved and saved. So far today, 999,609 square feet worth of Forest has been funded.

The Animal Rescue Site
For each person who clicks, 0.6 bowls of food plus care will be provided for animals in care. So far today, 129,166 bowls of food will be provided.

------
It would be really great as well, if you could link this post in your 'bloglists' to get others to do their bit, and leave a comment to say ‘Ive been a good boy or girl’.

Thanks

Apologies for poor pun in the title.

It's just as well I'm on my own tonight. I'm ready to burst every single blood vessel in my body and scream a big 'aaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh' for several hours.

Bloody bloody virgin.

Two weeks after getting set top box and it not working - finally get the engineers out.

Out of the van pop two extras from Two Pints of Lager and a packet of crisps.

4 minutes later, their baseball caps are merely a sillouhette in the air. Apparently its working, but need to ring up later to get them to re-activate the smart card.

Apparently.

Ring them. Re-boot sent. Ring them. Re-boot sent. Ring...etc

They might need to send an engineer out. I try to explain that they already have.

I could fucking hit someone. Hard.

It's times like these that make me reach for the junk food.

Fuckity fuckity fuckwits.

Im off to Sainsburys for a pig out.

Wankers

Help me understand, please. I'm a clever chap, and usually understand most things, but this has got me stumped.

No, not why has Danny Wallace become a corporate BBC whore and robbed us of what hes good at.

No, not why does my mailbox at work send me a message saying I am over my limit, yet it manages to get through to my mailbox, thus making it more over my limit that it was before it sent it, even though the point of the message is I have no space to receive messages.

It's this:

Yesterday I bought one solitary potato (baking variety) from Sainsburys. Price per kilo, about £1.99. Price for a SINGLE potato - 39p.

A packet of similarly sized spuds, 4 in total, costs 73p. Or thereabouts.

Why? How can this be? How can it be cheaper for the supermarket to sell the SAME variety of potato, of the SAME size, but PAY to package them in a nice little (bad for the environment) plastic bag, have someone or some machinery working away to sort and filter and bag and label and box etc...than to have the SAME potato, NOT having any of this labour applied to it, selling for over TWICE the price????????

.....and people say I've got too much time on my hands.

My seed is overflowing...

Its everywhere, spilled all over my desk and dropping on the floor.

Its my friend Debbies fault.

I mentioned to people at work, that I'm going to be growing some veg in pots in my garden patio small square out back and she said 'ooh, I've got some packets of watercress seeds you can have. My daughter keeps getting them free at school.'

Excellent I said, much appreciated.

I wasnt expecting 35 packets of them.

I can carpet the whole living room with that much.

My floppy has finally got nice and straight

Huzzah, at last my hair is getting just about long enough to be able to straighten. I hate the in between phases where the sideburns go all pubic, and theres more curl and wave on the one side than in Charlies Angels.

Another couple of weeks and it will be coming along quite nicely, me thinks.

(Not the most world-shattering or important news of the day, I know)

Survey for the bored 12: Nothing like a good fuck

Is it just me, or does the presence in a song of a good old 'fuck', 'motherfucker' and variations thereof, make it infinitely more enjoyable and powerful?

I'm not talking about crappy by the numbers rap tunes where everything is ho and mofo, they're just lazy. (Not that I dont like a good bit of rap or hip-hop)

Examples of songs I think get me more tingly and involved and 'emotional' than they would otherwise:

Rage Against The Machine - Killing in the name of
Somehow 'fuck you, I wont do what you tell me' would not be as powerful with any other words.

Prince - Sexy Motherfucker
My hero. Perfect use of the phrase

Libertines - What a waster
...what a fucking waster, you pissed it all up the wall.

Eminem - Just Dont Give a fuck / Still dont give a fuck
Simple message being I dont care what you think, old chap, this is me and who I am.

Red Hot Chilis - Suck My Kiss
...I am what I am, most motherfuckers dont give a damn.

Radiohead - Creep
I wish I were special, You're so fucking special

Tenacious D - Fuck her Gently
Nuff said

--------------
Well, thats only a few suggestions.

Or maybe Im just a foul mouthed young man who needs their mouth washing out.

What are your favourites?

Please please also see part one of Good Deeds Friday below. Please. I'll be your bestest friend.

Part 2...
Also, please take the time to add your weight to these campaigns (click banners for links):

Together we are irresistible - together we count. Taking steps together we can do almost anything we choose.
Just as we have polluted our world to the edge of climate chaos we also have the resources and knowledge to save it. It comes down to what we want, what we dream of. If we choose we can make our politicians take the action needed.

Also please add your name to the following online petition that aims to help to keep freedom of expression:

Each Friday I urge you to click the links below which will help others at NO cost to you. The effect this has can be enormous the more of us do it.

- If just 30 people read my post today and click on the links, then we can provide a huge amount of help.

- If each one of you then passes these details on to 5 others, then think how much more we can do. All for no more effort than a quick email and a quick click.

-------------
"why not take 1 minute to click each of the following links and by clicking on the coloured tab you can ensure that foodstuffs, books, or care is donated to each of the groups. The sponsors redirect their advertising costs to pay for the donations instead….And it costs nothing to you":

The Hunger Site
For each person who clicks the hunger site, 1.1 cups of staple food stuffs will be donated. So far today, 134,884 have already been generated.

The Breast Cancer Site
For each person who clicks, funding will be given for free mammograms. So far today, 7 women have benefited where they would not otherwise have done.

The Child Health Site
For each person who clicks, vital health supplies and services will be provided for children in need. So far today, 1385 kids will benefit from this.

The Literacy Site
For each person who clicks, underpriviledged children in developing countries will benefit from the chance to improve their literacy. So far today, 667 books will be provided.

The Rainforest Site
For each person who clicks, 11.4 square feet of Rain Forest can be preserved and saved. So far today, 821,050 square feet worth of Forest has been funded.

The Animal Rescue Site
For each person who clicks, 0.6 bowls of food plus care will be provided for animals in care. So far today, 97,793 bowls of food will be provided.

------
It would be really great as well, if you could link this post in your 'bloglists' to get others to do their bit, and leave a comment to say ‘Ive been a good boy or girl’.

Thanks

All i have to say is...

...Harumph

People watching is the number one pastime of the world (aside from monkey spanking and drinking). Sitting there watching people, and eavesdropping accidentally overhearing snippets of conversations.

I wasn't expecting the tail end of this one though:

"Blankety Blank...cheesegrater on my cock every night, I can get what I want."

I've racked my (addled and thoroughly sick and perverted) brain, yet even I can't come up with anything that could possibly have begun that sentence and make any kind of sense.

...I wonder if its all worth it.

I could quote a Stones song now, but fearful of copyright infringement and being sued I wont. I cant even afford to go swimming let alone pay for a helping of Micks caviar.

it IS all worth it. I have a conviction. Not a criminal one.

Im rambling, best do some work.

If, like yours truly, you are going for a vacation in Amsterdam and are looking for Amsterdam hotels, easyToBook.com is the spot for you!

Luxurious or cheap, whichever suits your budget, these can all be viewed on easyToBook.com.

Known by all to be the cultural capital of Holland and having, with its beautiful canals running through the city centre, earned itself the honorary name of "the Venice of the North", Amsterdam attracts, and keeps attracting, travellers from all over the world.

So go to easyToBook, and with no booking fees and a variety of hotels and accomodation on offer, you should find plenty of hotels to suit your stay.

(Sponsored post)

I need my buttocks back

There's a downside to having lost weight. I mean, sure it's generally good but I do get serious issues with it as well.

But rather than talk seriously, I have another more pressing concern. The disappearance of my aforementioned buttocks.

Where once were two peach halves, succulent and curved and thoroughly biteable(*)...
...there are now two shrivelled half deflated balloons.
It looks like Ive got pensioners breasts for a behind now.

Not only is the change in appearance disconcerting - my post-shower self assessment in the mirror is most disappointing - and aeshetically less pleasing, but it appears they also had a hitherto unknown function.

Grip.

Like the anal equivelant of shoe soles, I now realise that they performed a very important daily action. Namely stopping me sliding off things.

The last three meetings I've had, before I know it, I've gone from sitting professionally upright, to having slid nearly off the seat. The position I end up in, I half expect the hydraulics to kick in on the chair and some West Coast hip-hop beats to start, its that laid back.

So I need to find a solution quick-fast.

Plasters and bicycle pump anyone?

(* My own words, sadly, nobody elses)

Thankfully not a return to coconuts behind the eyes or anything like that.

But its full of stuff I wish to get out.

Not a good few days. Well, not not good, just, oh I'll shut up....

...sigh. And sigh again.

No, not that sigh this time (well not out loud anyway). This one is for my yo-yo experience with my tv and recently acquired set top box.

I wasnt going to do it. I tried to resist, thoughts of a return to huge stomach and lazy me were keeping it at (chubby) arms length. But I gave in, I felt strong enough to not become a junky to the glowing screen.

So, with the carrot dangled in front of me, and a measly extra £1.00 per month to pay for it, I succumbed to adding a set top box to my broadband. After all, I figure I could do with keeping up to speed with Discovery and such like - all part of my research, you see ahem.

Setback one: They decided to deliver the package in the ten minutes I wasnt in the house. Typical.

Setback two: On Saturday, my TV decided it was going to stop working. Brilliant - new cable services, no screen to display the pretty pictures.

Woo hoo one: TV started working again Sunday.
Woo hoo two: Nice big spangly package waiting for me when I got home, which I wasnt expecting until a few days later.

BOO HOO: Tried to connect it up earlier (result! I did it!). Rang them to activate it....arse, nothing happened.

"We'll send another signal and ring you back in a few minutes"

Twenty minutes later. I ring them. Get bombarded with questions about account and security word (erm, I havent set up the account yet).

"Hello, you said you'd ring me back and nobody has - nothing is happening" (bottom lip quivers)

"Turn it off and try again"

"ooh, ooh, the numbers are flashing and moving. Awwww, theyve stopped."

Arse, arse, and, what was the next thing? arse. Gonna have to wait for an engineer to come out now.

And on top of everything else, its not improved my mood

Im like shit velcro at the moment.

Right, off to Sainsburys to check out the bargain bins.

Is it me or is this a bit hypocritical?

"Demonstrators in Mumbai (Bombay) set light to effigies of the Hollywood star, while protesters in other cities shouted "death to Shilpa Shetty".

Public displays of affection and sex are still largely taboo in India."

Fair enough, if the culture is such that public affection is deemed inappropriate, thats the way it should be respected.

BUT, if thats the case, then what about this:

"The kissing scenes were regularly played on Indian TV, with some viewers commenting on Gere's actions, while Indian newspapers carried the picture on their front pages."

Erm, surely thats breaking the same taboo, in replaying it publicly over and over? Or am I being a bit facetious?

Delara Darabi and her 19-year-old boyfriend Amir Hossein reportedly went to a woman’s house in 2003, where Amir Hossein allegedly killed the woman. Delara initially confessed to the murder, but subsequently retracted her confession. Delara says that Amir Hossein asked her to admit responsibility for the murder to protect him from execution, believing that as she was under the age of 18, she could not be sentenced to death.

Delara Derabi maintains her innocence, and has claimed that she was under the influence of sedatives during the burglary.

Amir Hossein has reportedly received a prison sentence of 10 years for his involvement in the crime.

Amnesty members around the world are urgently campaigning to stop Delara’s execution. (See Press Release)

Amnesty International are asking people to go to their website and to write to the Iranian authorities, imploring them to stop the execution of Delara Darabi, who was just 17 at the time of her alleged crime.

Iran executes more known child offenders than any other country, and, in 2006, Iran and Pakistan were the only countries in the world to continue to execute child offenders. At least 28 child offenders remain on death row in Iran and the country is known to have executed four child offenders last year.

"In the past, Iran has commuted death sentences after international outcry, so we think this campaign could really make a difference. Hope you can help in any way you can – we’ll let you know if we hear any developments."

1. Name a movie you have seen more than 10 times.
Oooh, absolutely loads - Notting Hill (shame on me), Shaun of the Dead, Goonies, Anchorman, Airplane 1 & 2, Evil Dead (all 3), Withnail & I, and many many more.

2. Name a movie you’ve seen multiple times in the theater.
Do you know what, Im not sure I have. Need to think about that one.

3. Name an actor who would make you more inclined to see a movie.
John Cusack. Will Ferrell. Bruce Campbell. Simon Pegg. Erm, Julia Roberts.

4. Name an actor who would make you less likely to see a movie.
Oh god, loads. Tom Cruise (although I do invariably like the films). Sandra Bullock (see Tom). J Lo. The Rock. Stephen Seagal.

5. Name a movie you can and do quote from.
Loads, Im a geek. Withnail, Anchorman, Shaun, Airplane, Evil Dead, Four Weddings (is it raining?), most silent movies, Notting Hill, Grosse Point, High Fidelity, and so on.

6. Name a movie musical in which you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs.
Not as many as I think I do - I try. I guess Grease (a fave), West Side Story, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Chitty Chitty, Oliver. (a non cliche - a non gayman who knows and likes many musicals )

7. Name a movie you have been known to sing along with.
Rocky Horror. Marilyn movies. Rocky.

8. Name a movie you would recommend everyone see.
Only one?
Anchorman, Inconvenient Truth, Small Soldiers. kidding.

9. Name a movie you own.
Just one? Okay, lets get random here then - Bubba Ho Tep

10. Name an actor who launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops.
Justin Timberlake. Im gagging just saying it, but he was truly awesome in Edison. Mark Wahlberg is good too. And Ice Cube (well, in Boyz In Hood and Three Kings)

11. Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in?
Sadly not. Have seen one at a 'walk-in' though at a music festival.

12. Ever made out in a movie?
Now now, thats personal.

13. Name a movie you keep meaning to see but you just haven’t gotten around to yet.
Pans Labyrinth!

14. Ever walked out of a movie