Take a leap.....it's a free day!*

Friday 29th February. A day like no other....for another four years anyway.

Technically, that's a free day. A bonus. A gift. Not often you get that now is it?

So why not use this 'free'(**) day to take a leap on the leap year, and do something you wouldn't normally do?

- Tell someone you love them.
- Tell someone you hate them.
- Tell someone you love and hate them.
- Wrestle a bear.
- Race a pair of otters.
- Ride a badger.
- Perfect that mime of the french revolution you've been working on.
- Have a drink with that friend you've not seen in a while.
- Do your hair.
- Create a cocktail.
- Do something nice for someone.

Or whatever floats your boat.

The point is, it's day that only comes around every four years, so embrace it. Let loose the shackles of work, cut through those chains of conformity, and, to paraphrase the sorely missed childrens tv show from my summer holidays, 'Why don't you....just make the most of a free day'

*Admittedly, this was inspired by a Frasier episode, but I won't tell if you don't.
** And before the geeks moan, I know it's not a free day and that it's the culmination of 'forgetting' about those pesky quarter days that would normally make the calendar look all messy and cause problems for people who struggle with fractions.

It's a start, I don't think anybody would deny that:

Marks and Spencer is to begin charging its food shoppers for carrier bags

And hopefully, in the usual tradition of keeping up with the Jones', all of the other supermarkets will follow suit.

But it's still by no means enough.
13 billion plastic bags are given away free each year.
Each one takes an estimated 1000 years to decay.

So, although charging is good, it still doesn't get to the root of the problem - manufacturing them in the first place. Although the idea is that the amount used will decline if people have to pay, that wont stop alot of people still using them, and therefore there will still be a huge environmental problem.

And why only food bags?

'Green' steps such as this garner a lot of press coverage and are championed as a victory in getting corporations to become more socially responsible.

I am all for it, really, and these things are always a victory - M&S get special kudos for all of their efforts.

But ultimately its not solving a problem, merely masking it - the bags will be produced, people will pay, the money will be donated to an environmental charity...then guess what they will have to spend some of the money on? Yep.

Is it really that difficult to go to the source of the problem? Change what it is we use to produce bags in the first place?
There's this radical way-out there material which is far more environmentally friendly.....I believe its some kind of brown papery-card substance. They might want to look into that...

I'm not a huge fan of Americanisms, but one I hope we will all be uttering one day is
'Yep, I'm brown-bagging it today'

Fairtrade Fortnight 2008

25 February - 9 March
Take part in the biggest event of the year! Attend an event, meet a Fairtrade producer, hop on board the Choose Fairtrade Bus as it tours round the country.

You are under arrest for...actually, We're not going to tell you..

I realise I write alot of notes urging people to 'take action'. But I dont apologise, all I ask is that you hopefully take a few moments to read, look at some background, then decide if you too would like to make use of one of the biggest powers we have - our voice. thank you.

Armed police emerge from the back of a van, firearms raised, converging on their suspect and bundling them to the floor; cuffed, shocked, scared. He is taken to a prison facility, locked up and held for 6 weeks. No charges. No reason for detention given to him. Nothing...
....sounds like something you would associate with a notoriously dictator led, human rights abusing regime doesnt it? The kind you see on a Channel 4 documentary?

Sadly, it could be the UK:

"Proposals are being put in front of Parliament to extend the time people can be held without charge in the UK to 42 days - in other words you could be locked up for six weeks without being told what you are suspected of doing. We already have the longest pre-charge detention regime of any country with a comparable legal system and the government has failed to make the case for why it needs to be even longer."

Currently we already have the longest pre-charge detention regime of any country as it is, and now we want to extend it...all under that sickenly hyperbolic and orwellian fear-mongering phrase constantly bandied about by the government (and the US) to mask the true aim of state control and big-brotherism: "the war on terror"

Nobody disagress with the idea that any crime, no matter what it relates to, shouldnt go unpunished. But the proposals to increase pre-charge detention go against every principle of a democracy which is there to not only protect, but uphold basic human rights and civil liberties. How can we possibly criticise the human rights records, dictator led abuses, and civil liberty records and infringements of other countries, if we ourselves allow the law to controvene not only these ideals, but one of the fundamental tenets of the declaration of human rights - of which we are a signatory?

The list below is taken from Amnesty Internationals 'unsubscribe' website:

Ten GOOD reasons why extending pre-charge detention is a BAD idea:
1. UNDERMINES one of our most basic rights, enshrined in UK law as far back as Magna Carta and now at the heart of the European Convention on Human Rights, to which UK is a signatory: the right for anyone who is detained by the state to be told promptly why they are being held and what they are charged with.

2. COMMUNITY relations will suffer if the Muslim community appears to be particularly targeted for prolonged pre-charge detention. This could have an impact on intelligence gathering and policing, and could undermine positive efforts to engage with Muslims in the UK.

3. IMPACT on any individuals detained for such a long time – in terms of their job, family, house, friendships and relationships within their community – would be devastating.

4. QUESTIONED widely by experts – Lord Goldsmith (former Attorney General), Stella Rimington (former MI5 Chief), Sir Ken Macdonald (Director of Public Prosecutions and head of the Crown Prosecution Service) and parliament’s Joint Committee on Human Rights.

5. UNDERMINES presumption of innocence –Two months in prison is roughly equivalent to the length of time someone might serve in prison for assault. Lengthy pre-charge detention would impose what is in effect a ‘sentence’ of two months on somebody who may never be charged with any crime.

6. UK ALREADY has by far the longest pre-charge detention period for offences related to terrorism of any common law state.

7. INTERNATIONAL STANDING – it is much harder for the UK to criticise the human rights records of other countries that lock people up without charge when we are doing so at home. This measure would give other countries a ‘green light’ to curtail civil liberties.

8. HISTORY – from Northern Ireland and Amnesty’s experience all over the world - shows that locking people up without charge doesn’t work.

9. STATEMENTS obtained from suspects could be deemed inadmissible at trial if detention conditions are considered to be unduly harsh.

10. SAFEGUARDS discussed are insufficient – the kind of judicial oversight proposed is in no way the same as charging someone and giving them the chance to defend themselves in a fair trial.

--------------------

If you agree with a persons basic rights to a fair trial; to be protected by the human rights act; to be told why they are being arrested; to not be victimised; to be given due and fair legal process....
....then please make your voice heard. Write to your mp to oppose the 42 days - ask them to stand up for our civil rights and oppose this draconian extension of pre-charge detention.

Simply pop your postcode into http://writetothem.com and the site will channel your mail to your own MP. It is important that you write in your own words as this is very much more effective. A large number of MPs are opposed to the proposals and your mail may be just the thing that spurs them into action on this issue.

Please also get everyone you know to sign the petition on the Number 10 site http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/notadaylonger

Further links:
http://www.unsubscribe-me.org/actionofthemonth.php?
http://www.amnesty.org.uk/index.asp
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=25423812664

If music be the food of love, then this is the place to gorge to your hearts content, musicnation.com

Budding artist? Then create a user profile, upload your songs, let your fans know where to find you, either on the musicnation.com site or elsewhere.

Sell songs, give them away to new and curious fans...whatever whets your whistle. There are recommendation engines to put you in touch with other potential fans.

And thats not all, musicnation.com is ideal if youre just a simple fan of new music, the ratings system helps you find whats been voted good, or not so good, and you can even play pop-picker yourself and rate your own favourite artists.

To top it all off theres forums, competitions and charts...all of which make musicnation.com an ideal one-stop shop for getting your music out there, sharing, discovering or just good old fashioned listening.

[sponsored]

Each Friday I urge you to click the links below which will help others at NO cost to you. The effect this has can be enormous the more of us do it.

- If just 30 people read my post today and click on the links, then we can provide a huge amount of help.

- If each one of you then passes these details on to 5 others, then think how much more we can do. All for no more effort than a quick email and a quick click.

-------------
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It would be really great as well, if you could link this post in your 'bloglists' to get others to do their bit, and leave a comment to say ‘Ive been a good boy or girl’.

Thanks

If theres too much crime, in your neighbourhood...
....who you gonna call???

Um, Kate Moss it seems.

Inadvertently, she appears to have given us a solution for how to reduce crime rates. Apparently, since she moved into her new 'hood the residents feel alot safer because of the heightened security, constant paparazzi, bodyguards and increased police presence.

So, why not use this as a crime prevention model across the whole of the UK. Gordon could pass some kind of law making it compulsory for celebreties to relocate, ensuring they are spread out in every town and county....a kind of Kate Moss ripple effect.
Each town would be flooded with private security, police, photographers and so on, warding off would be ne'er-do-wells, and, voila....our nation is safe once more from the perils of the wannabe criminal.

Of course, there would need to be very tight controls kept on who was relocated and where, so that as soon as their celebrity status starts to dip, we can move another one in (keeping, oh, I dont know, Westlife, as the would be crime prevention icons of somewhere might have the opposite effect)

In time, we might even look upon the name Moss-side with an altogether different recollection.

...whilst I'm in the mood for sharing 'special' stories...

This one, I'm equally proud and ashamed of. Let's just say the intentions were pure and I was just trying to be a good, stand-up citizen (or rather, we were), and it was, in the circumstances, an honest mistake to make.

Can we have some flashback music and graphics please? Thank you...

Scene: Interior, evening, slightly scabby lounge.

There we were, three carefree, youthful cheeky monkeys, doing what three, carefree, youthful, cheeky monkeys do when they house share - namely beer, take-aways, playstation, dvds, flower pressing...you know, the usual. Curtains open for all the world to see in, like a third rate brothel window only with more attractive occupants. It was the 'lets watch a blow-the-fuck-up-out-of-everything-film-probably-with-arnie-or-van-damme' portion of the evening, so off went the light, open went the beers, and down the trousers went the hands as we each took up our couch potato positions on the sofas. Our own trousers I hasten to add...otherwise that would be a different story.

By this point it must have been coming up to twelve, and as these were the days before 24 hour licensing, the peek period of post pub closing rush hour.

The house was situated on the bend of a cul-de-sac, so any time a car turned down the road at night time, we were confronted with the full sweeping arc of the lights panning across the room as it turned in, then disappearing again as the car continued to the end of the road. However, on this particular occasion, the movement of the lights was ultra slow. Slower than the offspring of an inbred deep south redneck on Jerry Springer. (Apologies to any inbred deep south rednecks reading, no offence intended). At first, this warranted no more than a cursory glance out the window from us, which showed a car practically kerb-crawling along the road. Which I suppose given the previous brothel window description Ive given you, wouldn't seem too out of place.
There was something about it though that did seem a bit odd, so we collectively summoned up the effort, one by one, to move to the window and have a look.

It was at this point that the cars lights were suddenly switched off and it turned around at the end of the road and just waited there, engine still running. There it remained for a good 10 minutes, occasionally rolling ever so slightly forward, whilst we carried on watching. By now we were all exhanging theories as to what was going on, and the one we all agreed on at first was that someone was "casing the houses" at the dark end of the street. So we watched still, for any further action. A few minutes later the car start creeping forward again, lights still off, and very very slowly, began to drive back towards the entrance, when it stopped a few houses down from us on the opposite side of the road. Suddenly the door swang open, quite forcefully and out stepped the shadowy figure from the driving seat.

As the occupant started to get out of the car, it was apparent he was a bit unstable - I mean, considering three 'Phd in drinking and its effects' holding members of the public were viewing him, we all thought we were more than qualified to notice. So, up went the arm onto the door, out lunged the body trying to stand upright and not wobble. Next, he swivelled around, slamming the door shut and nearly toppling backwards, then steadied himself for a while against the side of the car. After regaining some composure, or as much as he could muster, he walked around the back of the car onto the pavement and then around the corner out of sight. When I say walked, what I really mean is swayed. And wobbled. From side to side. Very juddery and unstable.

Well of course, we were outraged. "What a stupid drunken bastard" ;"driving a bloody car in that state"; "Do you reckon we should call the police? He went into that house just round the corner I think"; "What if he'd hit someone, and we saw him getting out drunk and never reported it - Id feel awful" etc etc.
So, captain sensible here was nominated to ring the police - what with my eloquent phone manner and all - and, rather impressively actually, a patrol car flashed its way down the street barely minutes later. The officers got out and came and asked us what we'd seen, and I duly relayed it back to them accompanied by much miming of a drunk. Which didnt take too much effort at this point. They thanked us for being good citizens, rang a few doorbells but got no reply, so decided that as they had the registration they would call around the following day to 'have a word'.

So off we went back indoors, chuffed at the good deed, and carried on getting pissed.

Next morning, the car was still there. Still there in the evening and no sign of the owner. By Sunday it had gone and I'd not seen the owner come back to take it.

Monday however, I saw it coming down the road. I was also eager to see the culprit in broad daylight.

So, I crouched at the side of the window so as not to be seen - after all, if he'd been spoken to by the police, he might have put two and two together.

The car stopped in more or less the same spot as before. The door started to open. Out stepped the owner....and blow me if he wasnt looking decidedly drunk again. My god, doesnt he ever stop?!

It was with a slow, embarassing, gut achingly vivid realisation though that the outrage gradually subsided. As my eyes followed him around the side of the car, hands on the roof again as before, they drifted downwards to the feet, then back up to the shaky legs and all of a sudden it became blindingly clear and the penny dropped.......

........he wasnt drunk. He was disabled.

How fucking evil did we feel.

To be fair though, it still doesnt explain the turning the lights off and kerb-crawling actions.

Ever get the feeling you're a bit of a tw@t?

I must have a masochistic streak longer than a chavs asbo record to be sharing this with the world, but for some unknown reason, here I go.

For about three months now I've been saddened by the fact that my lamp has not been working. It is, after all, a very nice lamp. And seeing as it's main purpose, aside from looking pleasing on my bookcase, is 'to lamp' - or somesuch similar probably more correct phrase meaning to be used to give light - then it's not much use.

Anyway, I figured it was broken after I knocked it onto the floor and it suddenly decided to be lamp-less. No amount of re-plugging in, twisting the connections and general 'let's look as though I'm handy' faces and tuts and gesturing that I did, would return it to it's glowing glory. Remembering that on other occasions that particular plug socket had turned (what's known in technical terms as) 'dodgy' I thought that perhaps that was the problem. So I tried another plug socket with predictably negative results. Oh how I sobbed and wailed and scweamed and scweamed til I could scweam no more. 'Why on earth would it turn on one minute, then nothing the next?' I pondered. 'It must have cracked or broken a connection. Sigh. I'm doomed to a life in a brightly lit room. Constantly in sunglasses and no longer able to make shadow puppets on the walls'.

That is, until tonight, when, oh ring the bells and send the town cryer out, I am lamped up again. 'How?', I hear you ask.

No, it wasn't that intensive 'Learn how to fix your lamp in 3 months' course that I signed up for.

No, I didn't just say sod it and buy another one.

Shall I tell thee?

I tried another bulb.

.....'special' just doesn't cover it.

(*In my defence, because the bulb had previously been working fine it wasn't the most obvious immediate solution. No, you're right, I didn't buy that either)

I really shouldn't be posting this...

Hah, that got you intrigued didn't it. Sorry, I enticed you in under false pretences. I could make something up, like, I really shouldn't be posting this because -

- they'll find me
- i might let slip where the loot is
- i hacked into this blog and its not really mine

Actually, the truth is even more dull. If I write a post, then I'll be in trouble of not living up to my laziest blogger nomination. Not that one additional post to add to my, oooh 4 or so is it, in the last 4 months. Mind you, I guess I've done the world a small favour. Just think, if I'd been posting more frequently theres a (miniscule) possibility that lots of people who should be working would be spending a minute or so reading it. Maybe one of those would have been a call centre worker, away from their phone. In turn some poor person could have been waiting on hold for longer than necessary. Then their phone bill arrives and its £2.37 more due to the higher call rates. Naturally, this is outside of their budget. Panic. Suddenly the food bill has to be trimmed. Hunger follows. But the mortgage has to be paid, so the shortfall is made up to stop starving. Mortgage is missed. Debt collectors arrive. Homeless. One more person needing shelter and charity and social security.

So you see, really its a good thing that Ive not been posting. That and they're usually as crap as this.