Ever get the feeling you're a bit of a tw@t?

I must have a masochistic streak longer than a chavs asbo record to be sharing this with the world, but for some unknown reason, here I go.

For about three months now I've been saddened by the fact that my lamp has not been working. It is, after all, a very nice lamp. And seeing as it's main purpose, aside from looking pleasing on my bookcase, is 'to lamp' - or somesuch similar probably more correct phrase meaning to be used to give light - then it's not much use.

Anyway, I figured it was broken after I knocked it onto the floor and it suddenly decided to be lamp-less. No amount of re-plugging in, twisting the connections and general 'let's look as though I'm handy' faces and tuts and gesturing that I did, would return it to it's glowing glory. Remembering that on other occasions that particular plug socket had turned (what's known in technical terms as) 'dodgy' I thought that perhaps that was the problem. So I tried another plug socket with predictably negative results. Oh how I sobbed and wailed and scweamed and scweamed til I could scweam no more. 'Why on earth would it turn on one minute, then nothing the next?' I pondered. 'It must have cracked or broken a connection. Sigh. I'm doomed to a life in a brightly lit room. Constantly in sunglasses and no longer able to make shadow puppets on the walls'.

That is, until tonight, when, oh ring the bells and send the town cryer out, I am lamped up again. 'How?', I hear you ask.

No, it wasn't that intensive 'Learn how to fix your lamp in 3 months' course that I signed up for.

No, I didn't just say sod it and buy another one.

Shall I tell thee?

I tried another bulb.

.....'special' just doesn't cover it.

(*In my defence, because the bulb had previously been working fine it wasn't the most obvious immediate solution. No, you're right, I didn't buy that either)